It Was A Dark And Stormy Night
by Yum
Summary: You may be offplanet, but that doesn't mean no Halloween.


Author's Note: A _really_ old fic, stemming from 1997-98. Yikes. Some may remember this from before. Yes, the old rock/artifact craze. Thought for Halloween…well…have fun!

boo boo

boo boo

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

boo boo

boo boo

"It was a dark and stormy night. A night, just like this one—"

"Very funny, Jack. I don't think that was what the inscription says."

"Okay, Professor Jackson. Please. Tell the team what does that piece of rock says."

"It isn't a rock, Jack. It's an—"

"Colonel, the camp is secure. Teal'c and I wired the perimeter."

"Great. Only thing I have to worry about now is the bugs that are crawling up our meal rations."

"I don't understand why we can't bring normal food. The D-rations—"

"C-rations."

"Huh?"

"C-rations. They're called C-rations, Daniel. And the colonel is burning them."

"Shit!"

"Yeah, yeah. I think that's what the flavor was, Jack."

"Watch your mouth, Daniel."

"They do not appear appetizing."

"They don't _taste _appetizing either, Teal'c. Okay, Daniel, you were saying about the rock we found in this planet?"

"It isn't a rock, Jack."

"What is it, then?"

"It's a piece of a tablet that the original inhabitants used to record their history. It's a dialect of Mayan origin. It's really amazing actually. They have recorded their history into stories or folklore just like—"

"Daniel, what's it made out of?"

"Just ordinary stone, Jack."

"It's a rock."

"You enjoy doing that, don't you, sir?"

"Oh yeah. Watching Daniel's mouth drop open in a stunned look really puts the pluses in my day."

"I don't know why I bother to tell you anymore, Jack."

"_I_ don't know why you bother to tell me, either, Daniel. Okay boys and girls, gather around the campfire."

"Colonel, we should really—"

"What? What? Carter, you said it before. There is nothing in this planet but trees. Only trees. No people, no eye glowing aliens, nada."

"Nada?"

"Eh, Spanish for nothing, Teal'c."

"Why doesn't he say it in his language, then?"

"Daniel, I would like to see how you're gonna explain that one."

"Um…"

"Ha. Anyway, Carter, there is nothing left to do except turn in and head back for the Stargate in morning. Too bad, though. We would have missed this."

"What do you mean 'too bad', Jack?"

"Don't you know what day it is?"

"Eh, of course. It's-well…no."

"October 31, sir."

"Thank you, captain."

"Is there significance to this day, O'Neill?"

"Ooh, wait! I remember! It's the feast of Samheine!"

"What? Daniel, what the hell did you just say?"

"You eat on this day?"

"No, Teal'c, well—actually I guess, yes. History goes that in the early 7th century Ireland, people gathered on this night to celebrate. Sort of a tradition. It came to be known as—"

"Halloween."

"Yeah, that's right, Sam."

"So why the hell didn't you just say Halloween, Daniel?"

"I did."

"Oh, for crying out loud."

"I forgot it's Halloween, Jack."

"Well, we weren't exactly always home to check our calendars, Daniel."

"Halloween?"

"Yeah, Teal'c. Ah…something like a celebration once a year."

"What do you do in this…Halloween? Do you pray to your gods?"

"No…not really."

"Actually Jack—"

"Daniel."

"Sorry."

"Well Teal'c, adults might take children out for trick or treating."

"That's great, Carter. That really explains a lot. Children visit other people's houses for candy."

"And they give this candy?"

"Jack, I think there's more to it than candy."

"Okay then. What did you do when you were a kid, Daniel?"

"Me? Um. I didn't."

"Huh? Run that by me again, Jackson."

"…"

"Daniel?"

"Oh, \well, my parents would take me to a lot of places with them so there was no way a kid could go do that stuff, you know. And my foster parents…well, they didn't…Not with me, at least."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, Daniel."

"No, it was okay, Sam. I didn't care."

"Too bad, Danny. I would have loved to know what costume you would have dressed up in back then."

"You must dress up in a costume for this…trick treating?"

"Trick or treating. And yeah, that was the fun part. Man, I remembered dressing up my ki—"

"Jack?"

"Nothing, Daniel. How about you, Carter?"

"Huh? Me? My dad took me trick or treating once. It was not what it cut out to be, though."

"Oh? No candy or no costume?"

"Actually, I got a lot of candy, but the costume…wasn't what I wanted."

"What did you wear, Sam?"

"A fairy princess. I wanted to be an astronaut."

"A f-fairy p-princess?"

"Yep. Are you alright, sir?"

"Mmph. Fine, Carter. Just wish I saw that. Was it pink?"

"Very."

"Oh god, my sides hurt."

"Gee, Sam. I wish I could have saw that."

"No, Daniel because if you were laughing back then like the colonel is right now, I would have punched you out."

"Oh. Oookay, forget I said anything."

"This is all you do on Halloween."

"No, people would celebrate with festivities, um, or would gather around and tell stories."

"Stories."

"Ghost stories, Teal'c. Man, I know a couple of good ones."

"The Go'uald do not believe in ghosts."

"No, just false, eye glowing gods."

"Huh? Did you say something, colonel?"

"Nothing. Hey, you know. We _do_ have a few hours of daylight left. Anyone up for a story? Daniel?"

"Um, I don't know any good ones, Jack. Although the Chinese literature predating the 14th century had some good—"

"Never mind. How about you, Carter?"

"Heard some okay ones in high school. Not great, though. I think they were just a ruse."

"Ruse?"

"You know, scare the weak female, she comes running into their arms kind of stuff."

"Ah! The good stories."

"Figures."

"How about you, Teal'c? Did your people have any ghost stories to scare children?"

"Legends of our gods."

"Well, it would make sense, Jack. They would want to enforce fear into their people to gain obedience."

"Great. No stories, then?"

"Well, I could translate what's on this tablet, Jack."

"Oh…joy. Alright, I guess it's up to your fearless leader then."

"Great, Jack. Where is he? I don't see him her—mmph!"

"Smart mouth. Keep it up and I'll toss that rock of yours over that cliff there."

"It's not a rock, Jack."

"Don't tempt me, Daniel."

"I think you've become a bad influence on Daniel here. He's beginning to have your sense of humor."

"I would say that is a good thing, Carter."

"What was that?"

"What was what, Daniel? I didn't hear anything."

"I heard something, Sam. There! I heard it again!"

"Very funny, Daniel."

"Jack, I'm not joking."

"I believe I heard something, too, O'Neill."

"Oookay. Carter, you and Teal'c go check it out. Daniel and I will watch camp. Daniel, if anything attacks us…beat it with your rock."

"It's not a rock, J—"

"Be right back, sir. Come on, Teal'c."

"I did hear something, Jack."

"Okay. It's probably a rabbit or something."

"I don't think they have rabbits here, Jack. It's not Earth."

"**Alright**. _Alien_ rabbits."

"Jack?"

"What is it, Daniel?"

"What were you going to say before?"

"Huh?"

"Um, before you asked Carter about her costume?"

"Oh. Yeah. Nothing. It was nothing."

"Jack?"

"Aw, I just remembered some stuff from before."

"Before?"

"Before Charlie died."

"Oh…I'm sorry."

"What the hell for?"

"For reminding you about the bad stuff. I guess I don't know when to keep my mouth shut."

"…I wouldn't argue with that. No, Danny, it's okay. It wasn't bad, just good memories. Hmph."

"What, Jack?"

"No, I was thinking about what I was going to say. Charlie wanted to be a cowboy. You know, for Halloween. I was on leave so we were going to go trick or treating."

"That sounds nice."

"Yeah. Hmph."

"What?"

"Didn't get my leave until that day, though so when I went to get the costume, the store was out."

"Oh. What did you do?"

"Well, I got another costume instead. It was…kind of same."

"Kind of?"

"I got the horse."

"Oh."

"You're laughing, aren't you?"

"No, no. I'm just wondering, though."

"What?"

"The costume was in two parts right? The head and the body."

"Y-yeah."

"So what part did your son wore?"

"The head."

"I see. Horse's ass?"

"I left it home."

"Jack."

"Okay, okay. Sara wore it."

"Jaaack."

"Alright, for crying out loud. I wore it, with a pair of suspenders, okay? Happy?"

"Oh very."

"You're still laughing."

"I'm not, really. That's a nice memory. I don't see why you didn't want to tell us."

"Well…"

"Sorry. I'm being nosy again, am I?"

"No, just being Daniel."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

"…Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to be a soldier one time in Halloween."

"No!"

"No, really. I wanted to dress up as a—you're laughing, Jack."

"I can't really see you in uniform, Danny boy. Man, wish I—"

"What was that?"

"Oh, here we go again."

"I _heard_ something, Jack. I—there it goes again!"

"Shit. I heard it too. It's coming closer. Daniel."

"What? _What_?"

"Get your rock."

"It's not a—argh!"

"Didn't find anything, colonel. I—what's the matter with Daniel, sir?"

"Mmph. I think Daniel's a little spooked right now."

"He tapped me on the shoulder! I heard something and he taps me on the shoulder!"

"Really, sir."

"Gotcha Danny. Told you there wasn't anything out there."

"Ha ha."

"What should we do now, sir?"

"Well, in the spirit of the holiday, how about a few ghost stories?"

"I do not know of any, O'Neill."

"No biggie. I know a few good ones. Use to tell them to my kid on Halloween after a night of trick or treating."

"Really, sir? That must have been nice."

"Yeah…Anyway, I know a few scary ones. No ruse, Carter, so don't worry. Don't need to run to my arms when you get scared."

"I'll try to refrain myself, sir."

"Now, Daniel. If _you're_ scared, you could always run to Teal'c's arms."

"Ha ha. No tapping of the shoulder please."

"Heh heh."

"Sam, can I switch seats with you—what was that?"

"Daniel."

"I know I heard something—Jack, what are you doing? That was you tapping on the ground, wasn't it?"

"Nope."

"I saw O'Neill tapping his foot on the ground."

"Thanks a lot, Teal'c. Okay, no more jokes, kids."

"Yeah, right."

"Watch your mouth, Dan—what was that?"

"Very funny, Jack—Wait. I think I hear it, too."

"It's probably the wind, Daniel."

"Or an animal, Carter. Quick, Daniel! Get your rock!"

"_It's not a ROCK_!"


End file.
